Sofie Chooses

Mieke had opened her office window a crack. Outside someone swept the pavement in short strokes, pausing whenever a car passed. Lena sat opposite the desk with her leg angled outwards. Tom had dropped her off and was heading for his first fare. As she got out he had told her to ring in good time for the return journey, or he might be tied up on a trip out of town.

‘You're not walking very well,’ Mieke said.

‘Better than yesterday.’

‘We can postpone.’

‘Then I'd be sitting at home waiting.’

Mieke moved a tissue box behind some folders. ‘That's a reason too. Coffee?’

Lena almost refused to save trouble, then said yes. Mieke went to the little kitchen beyond the corridor. Lena looked at the round table and its four chairs, one upholstered differently. Would Sofie want to sit there? Might the high window put her off? Last week she had searched for a woman who seemed only a phone call away. Now she was assessing routes and chairs for someone who might never want to see her again.

Mieke put down the cups. ‘Sofie contacted Anouk herself last night.’

‘Has she given a statement?’

‘They had an initial conversation about what she wants to do next. Not through either of us. Anouk is discussing the arrangements with her. That's important.’

‘Of course.’

‘You sound a little as though I'm taking something away from you.’

Lena picked up her cup. The coffee was too hot. ‘I think I want to know she'll see it through.’

‘Perhaps you should want to know what she can manage.’

Lena nodded, looking at her knee. The dressing sat crooked beneath her trousers. She did not pull up the leg.

Mieke said Sofie wanted to discuss her home and the consequences of making a statement. She had also asked if Lena could join part of the conversation, if Lena wanted to. The call was at half past ten. Mieke had not told her Lena would automatically be in the room.

‘I'd like to,’ Lena said. ‘Ask her again when you speak.’

Mieke smiled briefly and placed her phone on the round table. ‘We'll sit there, then. Some of it will be confidential. You can wait in the corridor if necessary.’

The phone rang at ten thirty-two. Mieke answered, said Lena was present and asked whether Sofie wanted her to stay.

‘Yes,’ Sofie said. ‘Only Yara's here too. My friend.’

‘All right. Would you like us to hear her?’

The phone moved. A second voice said she would not answer everything, but she was there.

‘Hello,’ Lena said.

‘Hello.’

Water poured into a glass. Lena watched the black screen on the wood and tried not to place Sofie's face from 6 May into every silence.

‘Anouk told me what happened to you,’ Sofie said. ‘Not everything. The attack.’

‘Yes. We don't know who it was.’

‘You don't have to keep me calm.’

‘I'm not trying to. It's what I know.’

Sofie fell silent. Yara said something too quietly for Lena to catch. Then Sofie said she had called herself because she would not spend another day waiting for Ruben to tell everything at last.

‘We spoke. He said he's trying to sort it out. They all say that. But he doesn't know what I'm supposed to do with it.’

Mieke asked what she wanted to discuss today.

‘If I give a statement, I want to know who can get at my things. My house. There's still stuff there. Everyone acts as though it's empty.’

Lena thought of the drawer and the blue loop. She waited while Mieke explained that Sofie's rights and options would be examined separately. An inspection report could not terminate her tenancy. What she had signed under pressure, how access had been closed off and what records existed all needed careful examination.

‘I didn't sign a departure date of 31 March,’ Sofie said.

‘You've said that before. We'll compare it with the declaration they're using. You don't have to win this discussion on memory alone.’

‘It's got my name on it.’

‘Then we'll ask for the original and the circumstances. I can help with the housing issue. For the threats and what you can tell them about Henk, there's Anouk and her colleagues.’

Lena heard how deliberately Mieke separated the issues without making Sofie start again each time. She asked about letters Sofie had received. Did she have photographs? Could she remember whom she had spoken to, and when? What did she still have with her? Sofie answered twice, then said she could not remember for the moment. Mieke did not make that a problem.

‘I don't want to go back inside with him,’ Sofie said at last.

‘Niels?’

‘Yes. Not even if he says he needs to check the lock.’

‘You certainly don't have to arrange it with him yourself. We'll discuss access to your things with you and the organisation, through someone authorised to arrange it. And you'll agree what you need for your safety with the police.’

‘I want Yara there.’

‘We can ask for that.’

Yara moved nearer the phone. ‘And a request like that doesn't need the address where she is now.’

‘No,’ Mieke said. ‘That isn't the intention.’

Lena felt relieved no one asked her for the address. She could have received it and kept it safe, but not having it was simpler. There was nothing to hide in a diary or shield when Jip passed a screen.

‘I showed a colleague something,’ Sofie said. ‘A message from Niels. I still thought someone would say it was ridiculous.’

‘Who was there?’ Mieke asked.

‘Someone at work. I can give Anouk her name.’

‘Give it directly to her. And say when it was, if you remember. You don't have to read us the message now.’

Sofie still had it, on the same phone. Lena badly wanted to ask exactly what it said and whether it predated Henk's death. She released her cup and put both hands in her lap.

‘Can I still afford my phone bill?’ Sofie asked.

Mieke looked up. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I've hardly worked. I had to change my shifts. Rent's still due too. Yara says I shouldn't worry about it, but the people who say that aren't paying it themselves.’

‘That's not what I said,’ Yara replied. ‘I said don't open your banking app in the middle of the night.’

There was almost a laugh in Sofie's breath. For a moment Lena pictured a woman at a kitchen table with a friend, still able, despite everything, to correct a misleading summary.

Mieke asked what had to be paid soon and what Sofie needed to attend a meeting in Rietdam. They would look at possible independent support together. She made no promises about money Lena had yet to see. When Lena offered to pay for the journey, Mieke looked at her.

‘Lena,’ Sofie said, ‘I didn't ring to make you pay for that.’

‘I know.’

‘I want to be able to say what happened without being put out of my house all over again afterwards.’

Lena nodded, remembered she could not be seen and said, ‘Yes. I understand.’

Mieke drew a sheet towards her and worked through the practical questions. Where could they meet? Whom did Sofie want there? Did she want to talk to Lena before giving a formal statement? Anouk would need to discuss that with her so a personal conversation did not shape her own account. Sofie wanted to see Lena. She wanted to tell her what had happened after the inspection, and hear what Lena had done on discovering the different text.

‘Not just because you need it,’ she added.

‘No,’ Lena said. ‘I can't ask that of you.’

‘And I want to be able to leave afterwards. Not suddenly find there's someone else who wants something from me.’

Mieke asked whom she meant. Someone from the project, Sofie said. Someone with a form. At home, conversations about a leak had often ended with the announcement that her departure would be sensible for everyone concerned.

‘No one from Noordhuis or RietWonen will attend. We won't share the appointment details with them,’ Mieke said. ‘If another conversation is needed, we'll discuss it separately.’

Yara asked about getting back. Sofie wanted to arrange that herself, with her. Lena offered no route and wrote nothing down. If she knew how Sofie was coming, she would start planning how she should get home. She had to leave room for the two friends to do what they could already manage together.

They tentatively agreed on Thursday evening at Mieke's office. Mieke would confirm the place, sequence and support with Anouk and Sofie. Yara would come if Sofie wished. Lena knew the front door there; no key coordinator needed to wander in for a quick check.

‘I'm not here to speak for her,’ Yara said. ‘Just so that's clear. People ask me things when she's quiet for a moment.’

‘I'm glad you've said so,’ Mieke replied.

Lena wanted to admit how often she answered too quickly herself, but that would take up space again. She asked whether Sofie wanted her at the start of the meeting. The yes was clear.

Towards the end Sofie asked whether Lena had photographed the curtains on 6 May.

‘There's a piece in the photograph of the damp patch. You gave permission for that damage photograph.’

‘With the red patch?’

‘Yes.’

‘I put it in myself. The fabric got caught in a sticking door. Not very pretty.’

‘It did the job.’

Lena saw Mieke look at her. It sounded like a professional comment, yet it was not entirely that. Sofie said the patch came from an old apron. She had no matching fabric and had thought no one would look at it for long. A detail from an ordinary evening, before a curtain had to prove she had lived somewhere.

‘I don't want my whole house online,’ she said.

‘It won't be through me,’ Lena said. ‘Amir has agreed boundaries too.’

‘I want to hear for myself before he uses anything.’

‘I'll pass that on. You decide what you discuss with him.’

After the call Mieke stayed seated a moment. She wrote one line on her sheet, then turned it over. Lena had not tried to read it.

‘I need to go on discussing the documents with her. Without you.’

‘Yes.’

‘You needn't wait in the corridor until we're finished. You can go.’

Lena picked up her bag. A firm knot shortened the damaged strap. Tom had tied it that morning after she asked him.

‘I offered money.’

‘Worrying couldn't pay the bill. So you offered something practical.’

Lena looked at the phone, thinking of Jip putting cheese on the table with one arm and Sofie worrying about her phone contract at night.

‘I don't want her thinking I'm buying her statement.’

‘Then don't offer again. If you want to contribute to support, we'll discuss a way to keep it separate. First she says what she needs.’

Lena nodded. Outside the broom scraped the pavement again. She rang Tom for a lift; he needed twenty minutes. Time to buy a sandwich and sit in the square. She took her bag and left the discussion of Sofie's future in the office.

Before Tom arrived, Ruben called. He had approached Mieke and wanted to discuss his work for Noordhuis. Would Lena come back? She asked when, then told Tom he could take his next fare. She kept her sandwich in its paper bag. The conversation inside was continuing without her; she would return only when Mieke said she was ready.