Chapter 41 · 7 minute read
Nine Stops
On the evening of the exhibition, Leila arrived early and immediately wished she had arrived late.
Early meant standing in the room while the work waited for people. It meant hearing every adjustment to a chair, every strip of tape pulled from a roll, every student asking whether their hair looked strange in the glass of a framed picture. Leila's own reflection appeared between two panels whenever she moved, as though she had accidentally included herself in the display after all.
She wore the blue jumper because it was hers, not because it might improve the evening. Esme had persuaded her to stop choosing clothes according to whether they could make her look like a different person.
Armitage gave her a cup of water.
“Drink it,” she said. “Don't just carry it around as a prop.”
Leila drank half and nearly choked because she was also trying to answer a question from Dylan. He wanted to know whether the small lamp beside his model made it look like a shrine. It did, slightly. They moved the lamp.
The first visitors arrived before the official opening. Parents came in carrying coats over their arms, looking at the room with the surprised pride of people who knew the students mostly as untidy presences in kitchens. Younger siblings went straight to anything three-dimensional. Someone's grandmother inspected every label with the concentration of a person determined to understand the assignment before offering an opinion.
Leila stayed beside the refreshment table until Mum appeared at the door with Toby.
Mum had changed after work. Her hair was down, and she wore earrings Leila had not seen since before the move. Without the work bag and tired shoes, she looked different enough that Leila felt briefly guilty for having forgotten this version existed.
“Dad's outside parking,” Toby announced.
Leila checked the clock automatically. He was on time.
They went to the panels together. Toby found the cardboard house first. He stood close enough that Mum had to remind him not to touch the surface.
“You did leave the trees out,” he said.
“The ones you gave away, yes.”
He nodded, satisfied. The gaps mattered to him as much as the repaired roof.
Mum read the statement, though she already knew it. Then she looked at the first panel slowly, following the route with her eyes. Leila watched her recognise places she normally passed while thinking about something else.
“That garage,” Mum said. “The one with the blue door. I go past it on my way to Mrs Hales.”
“I know.”
“No. You go past it on the bus. I hadn't thought about us seeing the same side of it at different times.”
Leila looked at the drawing. She had not thought about that either.
Dad arrived carrying no flowers, no large gift, nothing that required being held while they looked. He hugged Leila briefly and asked which order to begin in.
“Left to right,” she said. “Mostly.”
“Mostly is a useful warning.”
He stood beside Mum without making the arrangement awkward. Toby explained the hand holding the apple. Dad listened, then asked Leila about the layered window. She told him how the original wash had gone wrong and how she had changed the structure rather than pretending it had always been the plan.
“You can see the change,” he said.
“Is that bad?”
“No. I like knowing something happened while you were making it.”
She looked at him, surprised. He was not trying to reassure her about the damaged paper. He was describing what he saw.
Micah came in with Jean. Leila had not expected Jean, who wore a clean version of the same practical expression she brought to the allotment.
“Couldn't let him assess it alone,” she said. “He notices too many plants.”
There were almost no plants in the work except the thyme on the windowsill. Jean found it immediately.
“Needs more light,” she said.
“It's a drawing.”
“Still does.”
Leila laughed. Micah stood beside her while the adults moved along the panels. He did not put an arm around her in a way that required her to manage both his body and everyone else's interpretation. He simply stood close enough that their hands brushed once, then asked whether she wanted water.
“I've got some.”
“Have you actually drunk it?”
“Armitage already conducted that investigation.”
“Good. Shared responsibilities.”
Anika arrived a little later. Leila saw her across the room and felt the old urge to explain the work before she could judge it. Instead she waited until Anika came over.
“Tell me about this join,” Anika said, pointing to the transition between the dark reflection and the pale street.
Leila explained the failed wash, the decision to cut and layer, the way the interior interrupted what she could see outside. She heard herself speaking with more certainty than she had felt while making it. Not certainty that the work was brilliant. Certainty about why it was the way it was.
Anika nodded and asked another question about the sequence. She did not ask whether the hotel had been difficult. The difficulty was visible in the work without becoming the only subject available.
Later, a woman Leila did not know stood in front of the panels for a long time. She carried a coat over one arm and held a programme folded into a narrow strip.
“Is this yours?” she asked when Leila came closer.
“Yes.”
The woman pointed to the drawing of Mum's bag.
“My mother kept everything in a bag when we moved between relatives for a while. She said it was because she was organised.”
Leila looked at the small tube of hand cream, the receipts, the photograph.
“Was it?”
“Partly. Partly because she didn't know which drawer would still be hers next week.”
They stood quietly. Leila did not know what she was supposed to offer in response. The woman did not seem to need advice or comfort. She had recognised something and wanted to tell the person who made it.
“The room isn't cheerful,” she said. “But it doesn't look empty.”
“No,” Leila replied. “It wasn't.”
After the woman moved on, Leila went out into the corridor. She needed a minute without anyone looking at the pictures or at her. Through an open classroom door she could hear someone laughing. A cleaner pushed a trolley past, its wheels rattling over the join in the floor.
Mum found her by the window.
“Too much?”
“A bit.”
“Do you want me to go back in?”
“No. Stay.”
Mum leaned beside her, leaving enough room between them that Leila did not feel held in place.
“I like the work,” she said.
“Because you love me?”
“That influences quite a lot of my opinions. But no. I like the work because it makes me notice things I had stopped looking at.”
Leila watched their reflections in the corridor glass. Behind them, the exhibition room was bright and full of voices.
“Are you glad I did it?”
“Yes.”
“Even with the argument?”
“An argument isn't a reason a thing shouldn't exist.”
Leila nodded. She leaned her head briefly against Mum's shoulder, feeling the unfamiliar brush of the earring against her hair.
They went back in when Toby came looking for them. He wanted to know whether being related to the artist entitled him to a second biscuit. Mum said it entitled him to ask politely, which he did with exaggerated dignity.
Near the end, Nina sent a message from Eastbridge. Anushka had a cough and they would not make the journey, but she wanted a photograph of the table drawing. Leila sent the version they had agreed on. Nina replied with a picture of the cardboard bench on Anushka's new windowsill, beside two paper trees.
Leila showed Toby. He grinned, then asked whether the glue was holding.
At eight, people began leaving. Dad stayed to help move chairs. Micah carried empty cups to the bin. Esme appeared beside Leila with two pieces of cake she had protected from the remaining visitors.
“Artist tax,” she said, handing one over.
Leila ate standing in front of the panels. The evening had not changed the housing arrangements, guaranteed a place at art school or made every stranger understand what she intended. It had given the work a life outside her own anxious inspection of it.
She looked at the nine stops one more time. Tomorrow the bus would follow the same road. Tonight, for the first time, other people had travelled part of it with her.